Frankie the chihuahua gets a home and a name, spoiler alert, it’s Frankie

The first night with Frankie was an telling one — as is the first night with any new family member. I put her on a dog bed in our room, because in my experience, that the best place for dogs for a lot of reasons.

But this was not the best place for Frankie. At least not according to Frankie. The best place was right between my collar bone and my chin. And I don’t know if you’ve seen my neck. It’s pretty great. But I like to keep it to myself for my own enjoyment, especially at night.

So, I rolled Frankie into a tiny little ball and put her on the dog bed, then got into my side of bed and turned off the light. The second it was dark, I was attacked. This is your worse nightmare. I thought of all the horror movies I have never seen. Beasts, monsters, psychopaths, hockey players attacking as soon as you were horizontal, naked, blinded by the darkness and female. I panicked.

And then I realized it was Frankie. On my neck.

I picked her up and put her back on the dog bed. Turned out the light. She was back on my neck. I barely had time to turn out the light. I put her back on her bed. She was back on my neck. She was getting good at this. Bed. Neck. Bed. Neck. This was war.

I gave up.

For the next two nights Frankie slept on my neck. And it was kind of nice. For Frankie. And then we found out that our neighbor’s mother was searching for the perfect dog, because her’s had recently died and she adored dogs. We brought Frankie by for a visit. It was love at first sight. So we gave Frankie to her. And she gave Frankie the name Frankie. And the last I heard they were living happily-ever-after in some new outfits with a new purse, something I could have never could have given Frankie. That, and a permanent sleeping space on my neck.

Which brings me to my next point. Unlike dogs, once you decide to have children, it’s not a decision that you can take back. In fact, I think it might be the only decision you can’t take back. OK, besides suicide. But that’s different. Because it involves death. And this involves life. Nevermind, I can see how they are related.

But back to my original point of the Frankie story. I have found dogs to be a reasonable analogy for children, except that you can’t give a child away if it sleeps on your neck. Oh, except you can. It’s called adoption. But Frankie is the only dog that we got and then gave away. We kept all the others.

And some of them we had planned to get and others we had not. But we definitely wanted all of them. Just like kids. So more on that next time.

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