I am mostly in the process of writing a book about our experience becoming parents. This was part of the reason for this blog. (I find it easier to blog than write books, so it’s kind of a warm-up.)
I used to think of this book as something that I wanted to do, and something that I should do. Now, I see it as inevitable. This happened just about two weeks ago — the inevitable part. Why? I’m not sure, but it went something like this.
My old thoughts about this: I want to write a book. I’ve always wanted to. I should write a book about being lesbian parents. It might be helpful to people. But what should I say? Would anyone care? I’m not sure I can do it. Maybe it would suck. That would be embarrassing. I might look stupid. People might make fun of me. People would judge me.
And now I am sure that all those things WILL happen. People will judge me. Parts of it will suck. And a lot of people won’t care. And it might help some people. So bring it! I’m looking forward to that part, but it doesn’t feel that important anymore.
My new thoughts about this: I am writing a book. I have to. It will allow me to make sense of this experience and heal. I need to say this story out loud. I want to laugh about it and cry about it because it’s hilarious and tragic. And it does have a happy ending, after all. And I do care what you think about it. But mostly I care what I think about it.
So we all have that to look forward to, I suppose. And our wedding, which fills me with an overwhelming sense of dread to think about planning it. But it will be worth it. So, this is all just a Friday note to say, stick around, there are some really cool things coming. A gay wedding for one. And a book about parenting. And if you asked me 20 years ago, what I would be doing right now, I would have slapped you for suggesting that it would be this. But you just never know how things are going to turn out.
© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.