I just finished a really great book, Breeding in Captivity, about a perfectly normal woman and a perfectly normal man who are trying to start a family. Except they are not that normal, because it doesn’t really work out the way they planned. And I’ll leave it at that, because I don’t want to spoil it for you. (They win!)
And if you’re wondering what I mean by great, it made me laugh out loud. And then it made me cry out loud. Dammit! And now I can’t write a sarcastic post about it, because that just wouldn’t work from a strictly literary point-of-view. So I’m writing a mostly serious review, right here. Don’t ask me why I’m not writing it on Amazon. Actually go ahead. Here is why I’m not writing it on Amazon: 1) I don’t like assigning stars. It’s so reductionist. 2) I am more popular than Amazon, in my own mind 3) I dislike long reviews on Amazon, but on my blog they are wonderful 4) I don’t want to get in a legal battle with Amazon when the awesomeness of this review goes viral and blows up their site and 5) Haven’t I already given you enough, Amazon? My money? My time? My stars?
But enough about me and Amazon. Let’s talk about what I think of the book. It’s funny. Here is an example:
The author, Stacy Bolt, must fill out one of the many forms that those of us who don’t get knocked up in the back seat of a Ford Escort must fill out. And on the form is the question: “How do you emotionally support your partner?” Her answer: “I compliment him on the size of his penis. I also pretend to agree with him when he claims that graphic novels are a legitimate form of literature.”
Stacy (we’re on a first-name basis now, because we have been talking about her husband’s penis) is just a teensy bit irreverent about this whole process, and it’s completely awesome. And then sometimes she’s not, and it’s also completely awesome, like this time:
“Most people go through their lives assuming that having a family is a natural thing. Hey, guess what? It’s not. It’s hard fought and won. It’s rare and precious and unfairly fragile. It has nothing to do with determination and everything to do with luck…. Whatever you have — whether you’re the Bradys or the Bundys — take stock in your luck and love it just a little more this year.”
And if that doesn’t punch you in the heart, I don’t know what would, you hard-hearted jerk. Ok. I’ll write an Amazon review. It’ll be number 22. Five stars.
© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.