I have never claimed to be helpful, but this is:

I have some really good news. If you found this blog by accident, and you were hoping to get some real medical, legal or financial advice about creating an LGBTQ family, you are out of luck. I am way too lazy to try to figure all that stuff out for you.

But we’re both so in luck! These lovely people – The Experts – that are part of the Family Equality Council have started a Q & A for all of us. And it’s REALLY good. I love experts.

Now you can Ask the Experts if you have questions about creating, financing and legalizing your unconventional family. Seriously, check it out. These people seem really friendly and smart.

experts

And if you just want to hear about the ridiculous things that happen after you become a gay family, you can stick around here. Or….

Find me on Twitter @7littlemexicans and #7LM
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© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

My daughter’s birth story involves dry ice

We were sitting around the Christmas tree this weekend enjoying ten whole minutes of “family time” before some half-naked, half-crazed member of the family went running off screaming that it’s time to watch a movie. And we had a nice little family conversation about who was frozen and who wasn’t. And please don’t think this was a conversation about the weather, because it wasn’t. It started like this:

“I want to look at pictures of me in Mima’s belly,” said Wynn. She never gets tired of hearing about how she was in my uterus for 10 months. I think it’s because she’s lazy and relishes the idea of being curled up somewhere warm, carried around and automatically fed through a tube in her stomach.

“I want to look at pictures of me in Mima’s belly, too,” said Marlo.

“You were frozen,” said Pam.

“I was frozen, too,” said Wynn.

“No you weren’t. Only Marlo was frozen,” I said.

Wynn and Marlo were part of the same batch and Wynn was hatching (this is really what they call it) so they put her in my uterus — her favorite place in the whole world — and Marlo went to the deep freeze along with some others (the other little Mexicans) for two years.

“I want to be frozen!” cried Wynn.

“Listen, not everyone can be frozen. Only Marlo and Han Solo.”

“Who is Hand Solo?” said Marlo.

“A space cowboy.”

“I want to watch Toy Story!”

Family time over. And then I thought about it later and wondered if it was appropriate to tell your children that they were frozen in a lab for two years before they were born. Is it embarrassing to be frozen in a lab? Seriously. Judge me. I’m used to it. I just can’t wait to hear Marlo tell someone that she was frozen, like Hand Solo.

girl baby

Find me on Twitter @7littlemexicans and #7LM
Follow this and more on Facebook: www.facebook.com/sevenlittlemexicans 
Or become a fan on HuffingtonPost Parents

 © Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

I am a syndicated news journalist or a social media whore: One of the two.

You guys. Awesome news. I’m a HuffPost Parents blogger! I was trying to think of a clever way to tell you such as staging a flashmob, but it was too cold outside and I don’t have THAT many friends. I also considered a singing telegraph from a velociraptor. But velociraptors are extinct. So I’ll just say this: “I’m a HuffPost Parents blogger!!”

What does that mean?

Oh. Let me tell you.

What is HuffPost?

It’s an online newspaper and content aggregator started in 2005 by Arianna Huffington. And they pick up blog content like mine if you ask nicely. Or as they like to say they publish “fresh takes and real-time analysis from HuffPost’s signature lineup of contributors.”

How did you get this gig?

I asked, nicely. At least I think it was nice. It was a bit salesy, but sometimes you have to pull out all the stops and just pitch yourself (at a discount and with a free set of knives). And they said “yes” which was really great. And it was on the Thanksgiving weekend, so that made me feel extra grateful that weekend.

Are you going to stop posting on your blog?

No. I am not. Because where would I do all my swearing if it wasn’t here? And where would I make fun of things that run in the HuffPost? I’m going to keep writing here, and some of the best stuff will make it’s way there.

How do I see it?

Here is my first post!

Here is my bio!

And here is what it looks like, if you’re just browsing around on the site. I kind of wish I was that adorable kid with the glasses, but I’m the one on the left.

huffpost home page

Please go there. And comment. Or like the post. Become a fan. Because this is a popularity contest. And I cannot win fortune without fame. And you will be rewarded with more of this writing crap. Plus selfies. And pictures of my kids.

And while you’re busy doing that I’ll be working on my fresh takes.

Find me on Twitter @7littlemexicans and #7LM
Follow this and more on Facebook: www.facebook.com/sevenlittlemexicans 
Or become a fan on HuffingtonPost Parents

© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Families come in all shapes and sizes and some even have trolls

I took Wynn to see a movie this weekend and saw something unusual. People eating healthy snacks. Actually, no I didn’t see that, although I did notice that they serve tea at the concession stand. It’s $8.99 for the hot water.

Actually, I saw a movie trailer with gay families in it. I was so surprised and excited that I immediately got out my phone and sent a text and Tweeted about it, because I like to live on the edge of getting kicked out of movie theaters. Besides, if they had kicked me out of the theater I could just show them my gay parent card, and they would HAVE to let me back in.

I also stopped myself right before excitedly tapping Wynn on the shoulder to tell her how cool it was that there was a movie that had two moms and two dads in the trailer. Because why point out something that seems obvious to her? Some kids have two moms and two dads. No duh! And she was busy eating a KitKat.

As it turns out some kids also have trolls as parents. Trolls who live in boxes, and there will be a movie about these people released in September 2014. It’s called The Box Trolls. Here is the trailer and some commentary about the movie and the gay family angle.

But mostly it’s a movie about an orphan boy named Eggs, who is raised by cave-dwellers who live in boxes and are pursued by an evil exterminator. And that’s a decent metaphor for being gay, if by cave you mean closet and by evil exterminators you mean Christian ex-gay groups.

Anyway, I will definitely be going to see this movie, because it looks weird. And it has gay families in it. Maybe I’ll order to some tea while I’m there, because I’ve heard it’s a great pairing with KitKats.

Find me on Twitter @7littlemexicans and #7LM
Follow this and more on Facebook: www.facebook.com/sevenlittlemexicans 
Or become a fan on HuffingtonPost Parents

© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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