Tonight at 9

So, you all know that I’m a recovering journalist. Well, just like any recovering anything, I sometimes backslide. But this lapse was for good, not evil.

I interviewed the moms behind a modern-day civil rights movement for BlogHer this weekend. Check it out here. Read more of my thoughts on this excellent documentary here on Village Q to be super-prepared when you watch the movie The Case Against 8 on HBO. Tonight at 9. Seriously.

thecaseagainst801

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© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

If you want to feel more gay, get pregnant

When I started this blog more than a year ago, I planned to write about getting pregnant and becoming a gay parent. But that story ended up being a book – a long one. Instead, this blog became a bunch of stuff about being a gay parent.

But, now I have a problem. The more I gay parent, the less gay it seems. These days, it mostly just seems like parenting, unless I kiss Pam in a public place in front of our kids. That still feels pretty gay.

And speaking of kissing people in front of strangers, we should keep doing that because sometimes it can result in national television coverage, which is great promotion for your blog if you happen to be a black, gay NFL football player. And also because people are still surprised if you’re gay and black and a football player all at the same time.

But other people don’t seem to care anymore if you are gay. Or, at least, my dad doesn’t.

“Stop telling people you are gay. No one cares if you are gay. Talk about something that matters, like the sage grouse in Wyoming,” he said.

My dad is a biologist, so his marginalized group is the sage grouse. I understand. They have rights to fight for, namely their own legitimized breeding ground. I can relate. But we are getting off track here.

My original point was about whether or not I’m feeling particularly gay. I’m not.

And as you may have already anticipated, this conversation, which was happening mostly with myself at this point because my dad is sick of talking about being gay, continued in my head. If I wasn’t feeling particularly gay right now, then when did I feel really gay? In 1997.

I was wearing men’s shoes a lot back then, and I had short hair. But then, more than 10 years later, I got pregnant and I felt super gay. I looked really straight, but I felt really gay.

This is me (right) feeling really gay. And my friend Carol (left) also feeling gay, but in the happy meaning of the word.

This is me (right) feeling really gay. And my friend Carol (left) also feeling gay, but only in the happy sense of the word.

There has been no other time in my life when people inquired more about “my husband” or searched my left hand more often for a wedding ring. But I was neither married nor heterosexual. But all of the assumptions started making me feel more self-conscious about being gay. So, I felt more like I needed to announce it to people which, I’m guessing, is around the time when my dad started feeling irritated by my constantly announcing that I was gay.

I suppose the moral of the story is that things have changed. (Is that a moral?) To feel gay, I used to need to look gay. And now it’s the opposite. If I want to feel really gay, I just need to act or look really straight. So next weekend, I’m going to have a spa day with my girlfriends, shave my legs, get my nails done and really gay it up. Just don’t tell my dad.

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© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

I’m happy to support your gay agenda, once I find it

Last night “Let it Go,” the song from the Disney movie Frozen won an Oscar.
And it reminded me that I needed to order a copy of that movie for Marlo’s 3rd birthday, because that’s how capitalism works. And because I’m a lazy parent. I will happily buy any new movie for my kids to watch, if it lets me off the hook for 93 minutes (including bonus material).
frozen
I also just learned that this movie has a “gay agenda.” I know! Kind of shocking. But this woman, Kathryn Skaggs or Well-Behaved-Mormon-Woman (WBMW) as she prefers to be called, proved it. You can read about it, here. But use the potty first. It’s a long post.
But now I am torn. Not because I don’t want my kids to see a movie with a gay agenda, but because I didn’t notice that the movie was gay the first time I saw it. I guess I was distracted by the hot chicks and the funny snowman.
More disappointing is the fact that Well-Behaved didn’t actually go into detail about how this movie is gay. I would like to know, because I thought the movie was pretty good with it’s caring theme about sisters and female independence, but I would have liked it EVEN MORE if I knew it was gay.
I loved Mulan, in part because it was pretty gay. All the main characters are cross-dressers. And they save the whole country from evil because they dress up and act like the opposite gender. There is even a song sung by a girl about finding a great girl to marry. What’s not to love?!
So here is my plea: please help me find the gay agenda in Frozen. Because I’m not a very good gay if I can’t see the gay in a Disney movie. Besides, I’m a big supporter of the gay agenda.
A slightly more professional version of this story also ran in the HuffPost.
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I have never claimed to be helpful, but this is:

I have some really good news. If you found this blog by accident, and you were hoping to get some real medical, legal or financial advice about creating an LGBTQ family, you are out of luck. I am way too lazy to try to figure all that stuff out for you.

But we’re both so in luck! These lovely people – The Experts – that are part of the Family Equality Council have started a Q & A for all of us. And it’s REALLY good. I love experts.

Now you can Ask the Experts if you have questions about creating, financing and legalizing your unconventional family. Seriously, check it out. These people seem really friendly and smart.

experts

And if you just want to hear about the ridiculous things that happen after you become a gay family, you can stick around here. Or….

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© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Kremlin says this flag is not gay. What did the flag tell you?

People, remember this name: Miriam Elder. I hope she is duly recognized with a Pulitzer Prize for hard-hitting reporting from Russia like this news about whether or not a Russian flag is gay. Experts, flag experts no less, made this declaration: This flag of Russia’s Jewish Autonomous Region is not gay.

And now, why the confusion? Well, here is a picture of the flag:

gaylookingflag

I know. It’s like saying this lady is not a lesbian:

kd lang

Anyway, let’s chat about this. Because this is not an actual news site, and I’m not an actual reporter, I can say all the things — ask all the hard-hitting questions — that Miriam could not ask. And here is what I want to know.

Did anyone ask the flag if it was gay? No. That figures. Some things never change. We can spend all of our time speculating about whether something is gay or not and no one ever bothers to ask the thing. Oh wait. It’s a thing! So I guess that is the first lesson. Most objects don’t have a sexual orientation, even though lots of them seem to have a gender, like boats and hurricanes, for example.

But the best part of the article are the quotes from the flag experts. First Georgy Vilinbakhov, a Kremlin advisor, notes that “not every rainbow image is linked to sexual orientation.” This is truly disappointing news. All those years I thought Lucky Charms was just for gay people. And then there was this coming out shirt that I had in first grade. No wonder no girls ever asked me to go steady. This was just a regular shirt.

cool_retro_graphic_rainbow_design_tAnd in case you’re wondering why everyone is getting all worked up about rainbows in Russia, “gay propaganda” and other “public displays of homosexuality” have been outlawed in the country. The UN High Commission on Human Rights is involved, so we are talking about some serious shit here. Which means that it has no place on this blog.

Instead, let’s all give thanks (again) for free speech and proudly wear any rainbow-accented clothing, flags, socks or cereal that you have no matter what it means. I am.

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© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Are you looking for that special gift for that special gay? And by that I mean me.

The holidays are coming. If you went to Costco last summer, you know this. There is also another important milestone coming soon: My first blogiversary, which is also in December. Or possibly you may want to think about giving a gift for Thanksgiving, because you are so thankful. For what you ask? For me! For this blog. Do I have to spell everything out for you?

And now I bet you are wondering what a lesbian mom would like for Christmas (or Thanksgiving). Nothing too expensive, because I am the spawn of extraordinarily cheap Scottish ancestors. And ideally something homemade or crafty, because I’m a mom and we love that kind of shit. Well, thankfully, Buzzfeed has already done a lot of the work for you by putting together a quick round-up of 18 Items that Every Self-Respecting Lesbian Should Own. 

I know it’s a huge stretch to think of me as self-respecting, but I try. And I most definitely will respect myself a lot more if you shower me with gifts. I’d like take a moment to mention a few of my favorites.

The Rachel Maddow Finger Puppet: I love felt. And I love Rachel Maddow. It’s not just because she’s a lesbian. It’s because she talks about facts. And it just doesn’t get any sexier than that. And besides, if you buy this for me I can tell people I put my finger in her. All around win.

rachelmaddow

Vulva Coin Purse: If you cannot keep your coins in your actual vulva, then why not keep them in this pink purse? It’s practically the same thing and you never have to shave it. You can also pierce it with more pearls and it will never ever hurt. Lovely.

vagina purse

L Word Watch: Wow! This would definitely be a great gift for my blogiversary. A diamond watch for a year of service? That would definitely keep me motivated to keep working here for free. And I would enjoy it much more than a toaster. Or a pen. And in a couple of years it will undoubtedly be an antique since the L Word was on TV at least 100 years ago.

lword watch

So think about it. No pressure. But I do have something for you. It’s a surprise, just like every post on this blog. And just in case any of these gifts make you uncomfortable, feel free to check out the list of Ron Swanson art. He is so cool that he’s practically a lesbian, anyhow.

Special thanks to Lily Hiott-Millis who actually did all the work for this post. How in the God do you find time to do all this shopping? You are most definitely a real woman. (All of these products were found on Etsy.com, which is a completely awesome place to shop for all kinds of art.)

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© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The second gayest thing I have ever done

Next month, I’m going to the first GayLesbianBisexualTransgenderQueerSocialMedia conference ever. At first, I thought it was the gayest thing that I have ever done. And then my lovely partner of 14 years pointed out that having her for my lovely partner of 14 years is probably the gayest thing that I have ever done. Excellent point! You can see why I picked her. She is very smart.

Anyway. I’ll be there, at the conference. I’m excited! Because I have a new business card to give to everyone. And it has my new title on it! I got promoted. Here it is:

bizcard

Did you see that? Yes. My phone number is missing. If you want it, and I know you do, you’ll have to come to the conference. It’s like a scratch off game. And the prize will be texts like this:

textmessage

You can teach me how to dress myself. Because I need help.

So come! To the conference! It will be really gay, I promise.

And thanks a lot to all the people who helped to get me there, including The Other Sarah (Steiner), who mostly does everything and stops me from making more of a fool of myself, Kris Scott, who made the original logo for this site and the card, The Other Other Sarah (Wyble) who is just generally awesome and is working on a viral super storm for this site. And my family, of course, who tolerates all of this public embarrassment.

This isn’t the Grammys (yet), so I’ll stop myself there, no need to cue the exit music. But it is the FIRST GAYEST SOCIAL MEDIA CONFERENCE EVER, so cue some other exciting music instead!  I look forward to giving you my digits.

PLEASE NOTE: If you can’t go, soothe yourself with the knowledge that though you will miss out on special fashion-related texts from me, you can still always find me on our 7LM facebook page, sharing equally special moments like this one:

noseradar

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 © Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

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