Please tell me your name is Sarah

Hi. I’m Sarah. Call me Sarah. Do not call me Ishmael. Because that is not my name, and it feels just a little bit too much like cultural appropriation. And I may have stolen that from Jennifer Lawson. Or possibly Moby Dick.

I am writing this, because we may be meeting for the first time at the conference named BlogHer ’14. But before we talk about that let me thank you for making it all the way here. If you like reading enough to actually look me up on my blog, I’m guessing that you also got that literary reference I just made. We’re so smart, me and you. But just a warning, my smartness does not actually include remembering your name, especially if I am tired, which is all the time.

allkindsofSarah

All kinds of Sarahs. Just kidding. They are all me!

When some people become fatigued they get cranky, but I lose the capacity to recall proper nouns. This is when I start yelling “dog, get out of the kitchen” and “children, go to bed” at the end of a long day. Oh, and I am probably cranky, too.

What is your name? (Put it in the comments. Seriously. I have no idea what your name is.)

Secretly, I am hoping your name is Sarah, because I collect those. My dream, actually, is to have friends who are only named Sarah. That way, I’ll never forget their names, and they will never feel offended, except when I offend them by saying other things like women should have the same rights as men and the same pay.

Recently, I have been actively looking for people named Sarah so I can approach them about being friends. I’m getting superstitious about this. And I have even paid to meet people named Sarah, like funding this Kickstarter for Sara Benicasa because duh. And she also said it was gay and there would be cheesecake, so obviously I should be there.
 

So anyway, it’s nice to meet you, Sarah.

Let’s be friends on all the social media:

Me on Facebook
This blog on Facebook
This blog on Twitter
Me on Twitter

I also write for BluntMoms, The HuffPost, Village Q.

See you there!

(Don’t forget to add your name to the comments.)

What to wear to a party with your possible twin

Sometimes things really are worse when you’re gay. I know I have spent a lot of time and energy on this blog trying to convince you that we’re just like everyone else, and all of this is just a fun, big, good time. But that’s only if you’re not going a party at a friend’s house, which we did last week. Because after the stress of finding a babysitter, comes the stress of figuring out what to wear.

Pam: What are you going to wear?

Me: I don’t know. Probably a dress

Pam: I was going to wear a dress.

Me: I think it’s OK if we both wear dresses.

Pam: You should wear pants.

Me: You should wear pants. I get hotter than you.

Pam: You are not hotter than me.

Me: Yes, I am. A guy hit on me at the gym just this morning.

Pam: That’s because you look desperate when you’re trying to find the 10-pound barbells.

Me: True. I am desperate. I can’t lift anything heavier.

And so it goes. Because there are really two goals I have when trying to get ready for a party. The first one is successfully combine my two signature looks — uncrushable-office-polyester and grubby-parent — to create something fabulous. And second, to not look like Pam’s overgrown twin. Or like these people. (Click the link to see more couples you can’t tell apart.)

Pam and Sarah

Here we are! Both wearing white shirts. I know. Confusing.

But in case you need some tips on how to tell us apart, here is a short list:

1. I have two tiny rows moles on my left arm that form straight lines of three and three.

2. I have bigger feet.

3. I have my ears pierced three times. Pam has hers pierced four times.

4. I do not have a belly button ring.

5. My hair is black. Pam’s is really dark brown.

Or possibly the best clue of all. Pam looks more Asian than I do. For real, some friends asked Pam if she was half Japanese last night. She not. She’s half Mexican. Same thing.

And here is a video, pretty much, of our life. The Better Half, Episode 1: Going Out.

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 © Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

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