Tonight at 9

So, you all know that I’m a recovering journalist. Well, just like any recovering anything, I sometimes backslide. But this lapse was for good, not evil.

I interviewed the moms behind a modern-day civil rights movement for BlogHer this weekend. Check it out here. Read more of my thoughts on this excellent documentary here on Village Q to be super-prepared when you watch the movie The Case Against 8 on HBO. Tonight at 9. Seriously.

thecaseagainst801

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© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

I wrote this. And it has math. And babies.

First comes love, then comes marriage… wait, no. Did we do the k-i-s-s-i-n-g-ing yet?

For our family, the order of operations wasn’t quite the same as the playground taunt. Luckily, there’s a Gallup poll graph that can help make sense of all this. I wrote about it over at VillageQ – – check it out. It has math and babies. As promised. Something for everyone.

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© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

I have never claimed to be helpful, but this is:

I have some really good news. If you found this blog by accident, and you were hoping to get some real medical, legal or financial advice about creating an LGBTQ family, you are out of luck. I am way too lazy to try to figure all that stuff out for you.

But we’re both so in luck! These lovely people – The Experts – that are part of the Family Equality Council have started a Q & A for all of us. And it’s REALLY good. I love experts.

Now you can Ask the Experts if you have questions about creating, financing and legalizing your unconventional family. Seriously, check it out. These people seem really friendly and smart.

experts

And if you just want to hear about the ridiculous things that happen after you become a gay family, you can stick around here. Or….

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© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Gay marriage passed in Illinois, but not without some confusion about driving cars

Illinois has passed a gay marriage law. (Yeah!) Maybe Pam and I will get married there. And Hawaii is now also an option. But I don’t want to get side-tracked. The law in Illinois was not passed without some important dialogue from both sides — the right side and the wrong side. And I’d like like to comment on something from the wrong side, before we move on.

This man – Apostle Paul David Rogers – told a radio station that “gay parents are like 5-year-olds who think they can drive cars.” I agree. And I don’t want that to get lost in all the other stuff that he was saying about God ordaining lions and chickens. Because, well, that would be crazy. Those are animals, and animals should not be leading churches or teaching the Bible, mostly because they can’t talk, but also because they probably won’t fit in those fancy robes properly.

So anyway, as a gay parent I would just like to say that I AM like a 5-year-old who thinks they can drive a car. I’m probably not as excited about driving my car as a five-year-old would be, but I’m probably just as bad at it. In fact, the other day I was just giving myself a pat on the back because I haven’t run into our newly painted garage with my car, and it’s been a whole three weeks since it was painted. And more evidence? Last weekend, I thought I could drive to the dog wash to wash the dog, and I got completely lost. I had to call Pam for help.

That said, I have no idea what this has to do with gay marriage, except that both driving and marriage require licenses. And gay people, including gay parents, can now get a license to be married in Illinois. But while you are there, please take the subway if you have kids. Because driving in Illinois or anywhere is a fantasy, for you, my friends. And also for me.

This probably what 5-year-old driving would look like. Which is scary, but not as scary as a lion in papal regalia.

This probably what a 5-year-old driving would look like. Which is scary, but not as scary as a lion in papal regalia.

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© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What is possible for you right now?

Most of the time, I have an idea about what I’m going to say right here. Usually it’s something that matters, but it’s also usually something ridiculous or at least amusing. But not today. I don’t have something like that. But I do have this. A link for you.

A short history of LGBT parenting milestones

The first milestone is in 1972 when an ABC television movie depicted a gay father coming out to his son. I was 2 years old. In 1979, in a California court, the first gay couple jointly adopts a child. In 1982, a California sperm bank begins serving lesbian couples. There are more, and I read all of them, including some recent ones that you’ll surely recognize. And then I had this thought:

My life is only possible now.

Without all the people that came before me to do what they did, I would not have this life that I feel so grateful for today. And I want to say this to you.

Your life is only possible now. Today. What will you do with it?

possible path inspiration

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Special thanks to Mombian, Dana Rudolph, who is a lesbian parent and possibly the first lesbian parent blogger. She started writing eight years ago when she found few practical resources on the internet for lesbian parents. Thank you for all that you have done. And especially thank you for writing a practical blog, because this allows me to have created this entirely impractical one. 

© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Some rules about same-sex adoption. Or just skip to the end and find out where you are illegal.

I’m not sure why, but I’m in the mood to be especially helpful this week. So I’m providing you with the map below. Actually, wikipedia is providing it to you. I just copied it. But this is the internet, and it’s totally fine to steal content on the internet. It’s called “going viral.”

Anyway. The map is a picture of all the places in the world that same-sex couples can legally adopt a child together or adopt each other’s biological children.

Oh? Did I not mention that part so far?

Well, here is the deal. If you are part of a same-sex couple, you have one of two problems — too many vaginas or too many penises. I know it’s hard to imagine such a thing as too many penises. But try. And in my case, there were too many vaginas and as a result the baby could only come out of one vagina and the owner of the other vagina needed to adopt. At least, that’s my opinion, because I wanted Pam to be able to keep our children. And sign them up for school and take them to the doctor, because I had already done my part — birthing them.

And just to make sure we have covered all the bases, if there are too many penises in the relationship — again hard to imagine — but then there is no vagina for the baby to come out of. So my recommendation would be that both of the penis owners adopt.

And now that we’re all clear on that, here is the map.

same-sex adoption worldwide

Check it out. The places that are colored lavender (of course!) in the map are the only places in the world that same-sex couples can adopt children. And in case you haven’t already figured this out on your own, it’s super-duper important for same-sex couples to be able to adopt children.

Why?

Because in spite of how much complaining we all do about our kids, most of us agree that we definitely do not want them taken away from us like one Russian lawmaker is proposing to do. Or in contrast, in my lovely state, where Colorado Speaker of the House Mark Ferrandino, just adopted his daughter with his partner, Greg Wertsch. Adorbs! Why wouldn’t we want these people to be together?

And here is a lot more helpful information. Because it’s just that kind of week.

ACLU’s details same-sex adoption laws in the U.S. 

A really helpful Q&A site for U.S. adoptions

Lots of details about same-sex adoption in every country in the world

And last, but not least, find out if you are illegal in any country in the world

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© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Before you get the baby room ready, you might want to move out of state

Dear people from Arizona, Kentucky, Mississippi, Nebraska, North Carolina, Ohio, Utah and Wisconsin: We have some work to do… Or if you’re lazy, you should just move. These states need some help understanding second-parent adoption, so get your pencils or pick up the phone or text someone because children are in danger. (Source: Medical Daily, June 25, 2013)

Arizona prefers to give babies that need to be adopted to straight couples. And just a guess, but we probably would have been kicked out of the state entirely for trying to adopt two little Mexicans.

In Kentucky you need to be married to become a step parent. And I’m just guessing, but I bet they are not psyched about two girls or two boys getting married.

Mississippi went right out there and prohibited couples of the same gender from adopting. Thanks for being so clear about this, d bags.

Nebraska, North Carolina, Wisconsin and Ohio just simply don’t allow it, thank you very much.

Utah rounds out the whole package by doing both — giving preference to straight people and preventing unmarried and gay couples from adopting. All hail my home country.

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states

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