It’s Monday. Time for some Gay Agenda items.

Today’s gay agenda is pretty long and pretty hardcore. In case you’re unaware or were not following the Conservative Christians closely enough in the 90s, this term was invented by such people to describe the acceptance and normalization of homosexuality. Yes, I’m for it! Except that they are against it. But whatever, let’s discuss. Here is my gay agenda for today.

1. Get out of bed. That was kind of hard. I stayed up late a lot this weekend, so that makes it difficult to get up on Monday.

2. Blogging. This is it. Hope you find it to be everything that you hoped for. But let’s remember that we’re looking for activities that are morally reprehensible. And so far, I think the Christians might be OK with this agenda, except for the blogging, possibly. But I’m guessing they are in favor of getting out of bed, ESPECIALLY if you’re getting out of a bed that contains a woman.

3. Eat breakfast, get dressed, get the children dressed, make bed, tidy up house a little, forget my keys, come back for my keys, forget tampons, come back for tampons. All of these things happen at the same time, so they are really just one agenda item.

4. Go and get a mammogram, while spending most of my time on my iPhone answering work  e-mail and catching up on all the puppy pictures that I might have missed on Buzzfeed overnight. Then, hold my breath while my breasts are pressed between two large pieces of Plexiglas and manipulated gently by a soft spoken woman with cold fingertips.

5. Go to work. Answer e-mail. Make PowerPoint presentations. Help people get their job done. Eat broccoli and broiled chicken for lunch with a Diet Coke, generously supplied by my employer. Talk on the phone. Delete some e-mail. And leave at 4:45 sharp to pick my two children up from day care.

6. Make dinner. Watch the kids not eat dinner. Try to insist that they eat dinner. Give up. Watch Team Umizoomi. Read Dora’s Rainy Day (again!) to Marlo and then sing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star to her while I turn off the lights and close the door to her room. Repeat the same process with Wynn, but substitute the story about the Little Mermaid, no song and no closing of the door.

7. Go downstairs to our bedroom. Collapse next to Pam. Discuss birthday invitations, weird happenings of the day, check e-mail. Then get up, go next door and pick up Wynn’s birthday bike, which is hiding out in our neighbor’s basement. Decorate it. I have no idea how I’m going to do this, so suggestions welcome. And then go upstairs for more collapsing on the bed. And sing Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star to myself before I fall asleep.

Now I realize that this post did contain a few controversial subjects. Breasts, for one. Always controversial. And tampons. Not as controversial, but at some point I’m guessing there were at least a few people opposed to those, even though they have been around for thousands of years.

So feel free to point out anything that might be morally corrupt in this e-mail. Oh, and don’t forget the suggestions about how to wrap up a bike as a birthday present. I’m all ears. But in the meantime, here’s a picture of the birthday girl (Wynn).

birthday girl

Follow this and a lot more on Facebook: www.facebook.com/sevenlittlemexicans 
Or find us on Twitter #7LM and @7littlemexicans

© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Let’s caption this! (And you can win a shirt)

Our people have spoken, and they want this shirt! But we don’t know what to say about it. Can you think of a caption for this shirt? We’ll send you one if we pick your caption! So we’ll do the hard part…. and you can take all the credit.

Test tubes

Oh! And happy freedom week Canada and America!

Follow this and a lot more on Facebook: www.facebook.com/sevenlittlemexicans
Or find us on Twitter #7LM

© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Yes, I can sometimes actually be helpful and a little bit famous.

In my wanderings around the big World Wide Web, I came across this really great resource for people just like me, and maybe just like you, who want to have children but don’t know where to start. It’s a Web site called: It’s Conceivable. And it’s full of stories and ideas. And now it’s full of a little bit of me and my family.

itsconceivable

 

You can read Our profile that just posted today, and be inspired or horrified or both. Because that’s how I feel about our story. Enjoy.

Follow this and a lot more on Facebook: www.facebook.com/sevenlittlemexicans
Or find us on Twitter #7LM

We’re all family, even that lady with seven cats. (Oh and win a t-shirt by voting for the design)

My people. It’s time to pick designs, again. This time for a t-shirt. Yes! Calm down! We’re making t-shirts, and we’re going to beg you to buy one when the time is right, which will be right after we decide which one is perfect.

They are all subtly different like the two pictures of a celebrity in the back of US magazine that look identical, and then when you look closely you realize that the tag on Taylor Swift’s shirt is totally a different color in each photo. And her dog is totally not wearing a color in one of the photos. Anyway, you get my point, which is that you must say “totally” in every sentence for emphasis.

So there are your choices below. AND I am happy to hear, but will likely ignore, your overall opinion of this shirts, because they are already totally, fucking awesome! Thank you Kris Scott. And I am in no way mean to be homophobic at all but my favorite couple is the straight one, because they have a little slutty mutt, which is SO CUTE! (Dog people unite!)

And my favorite shirt is the rainbow one. So there. Go ahead and vote, but please, really don’t be influenced by anything I have already said. It’s your voice. Your vote counts. Sort of. Unless you’re out-voted by me or other people who are cooler than you. And one more thing, everyone who votes will be entered into a church raffle to win one of the t-shirts. I know, bitchin! Which church? LDS. (Lesbian Dominion Sanctuary). Vote!

1. Pencil line family

pencil

2. Black families (Not really black, you know what I mean. There is a black line! But hey they can be black. It’s all good. Use your imagination. They can all be Etoro if you want.)

plain family

3. Primary colors family

primary colors

4. Rainbow family

rainbow family

Vote! In comments. Right there. Scroll down. Do it!

Follow this and a lot more on Facebook: www.facebook.com/sevenlittlemexicans
Or find us on Twitter #7LM

What do you think of the new look? Vote for my new banner!

A friend of mine, who believes that she owes me a favor (that’s the best kind of friend), just put together these bomb ass new designs for my blog banner! What do you think? I am in the unfortunate position of needing to pick just one, but let’s enjoy all of them for just a little while. And be sure to comment, so I know which one you like. I have given each one a letter and a nickname to help with identification.

A – Sperm bombs

A

 

B – Test tube bubbles

B

 

C – PFLAG

C

 

D – BabyBjorn Bathroom Door

D

 

E – Black beans? Or pinto?

E

 

Vote now! Vote often!

Dogs can fly

I didn’t have a cell phone or I would have speed-dialed Pam to tell her I was bringing a chihuahua home. And sent her a picture, posted it to Facebook, Instagram and  Pinterest. But it was the olden days. I would have to use my mouth to communicate this news, once I got home in lag time.

Me: I found a chihuahua.

Pam: Is it a toy?

Me: No. It’s a real dog.

I was now the victim of a sniffing attack by Kitty and Mouse. So we did formal introductions, which went pretty well, because when you go straight for checking out someone’s genitals it puts everyone at ease.

Then, I put Frankie down and she jumped on the table. Yes, from the floor.

Me: Did you see that?

Pam: Yeah. She’s possessed.

Me: I know. I didn’t think dogs could fly.

So I had my work cut out for me. Keeping Frankie on the ground.

dogs - frankie

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...