I’m happy to support your gay agenda, once I find it

Last night “Let it Go,” the song from the Disney movie Frozen won an Oscar.
And it reminded me that I needed to order a copy of that movie for Marlo’s 3rd birthday, because that’s how capitalism works. And because I’m a lazy parent. I will happily buy any new movie for my kids to watch, if it lets me off the hook for 93 minutes (including bonus material).
frozen
I also just learned that this movie has a “gay agenda.” I know! Kind of shocking. But this woman, Kathryn Skaggs or Well-Behaved-Mormon-Woman (WBMW) as she prefers to be called, proved it. You can read about it, here. But use the potty first. It’s a long post.
But now I am torn. Not because I don’t want my kids to see a movie with a gay agenda, but because I didn’t notice that the movie was gay the first time I saw it. I guess I was distracted by the hot chicks and the funny snowman.
More disappointing is the fact that Well-Behaved didn’t actually go into detail about how this movie is gay. I would like to know, because I thought the movie was pretty good with it’s caring theme about sisters and female independence, but I would have liked it EVEN MORE if I knew it was gay.
I loved Mulan, in part because it was pretty gay. All the main characters are cross-dressers. And they save the whole country from evil because they dress up and act like the opposite gender. There is even a song sung by a girl about finding a great girl to marry. What’s not to love?!
So here is my plea: please help me find the gay agenda in Frozen. Because I’m not a very good gay if I can’t see the gay in a Disney movie. Besides, I’m a big supporter of the gay agenda.
A slightly more professional version of this story also ran in the HuffPost.
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© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

How to buy a toy, if you must.

There comes a time in many adults’ lives when we must purchase a toy. I’d like to think that most of the time this is an act of love. But I realize that sometimes it’s motivated by guilt or just social pressure.

If you have kids, this comes up every other week, because if your own kids aren’t begging you for something, then you’re probably buying toys for their friend’s birthdays.

And if you don’t have kids, you might not be aware of the hazards of toy buying. There are many. And in an effort to prevent you from making many of the common toy-buying mistakes, I present a decision-making flow chart that I recommend you print out and take with you to the store. Do it.

(Click on the image to enlarge)

toychart-1

Or you can order it as a greeting card here. And special thanks to Scary Mommy who ran this graphic yesterday on her popular and hilarious community for real parents.

Find me on Twitter @7littlemexicans and #7LM
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© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

This is the scratch pad. And frankly, using it kind of hurts, but I can’t help it.

Everyone needs a place to doodle. At least that’s my current working hypothesis. Or possibly, I just need way more warming up and practice before I ACTUALLY do something like write a book.

And since we’re on the topic, here is a totally mind-blowing doodle. This was created by Anthony Weeks DURING a talk that was given by Vikki Reich and Deborah Goldstein at the SalonLGBTQ conference – an event that I can’t stop talking about. Let me say that again just in case you missed it the first time: This was drawn WHILE they talked.

Anthony Weeks

I took exactly two notes and a crappy photograph of this incredible poster, by comparison. But if you can see near the top of the poster, Vikki and Deb were talking about why they blog. This is a great question. This is a question that I ask myself, often. Because it’s sometimes very painful, like biting my nails, which I also do. And it sometimes causes my hands to bleed.

And the more I blog, the more I realize that I’m probably the person getting the absolute most out of this. I know that for a fact, actually, because the stats tell me that I’m my biggest fan. Confession: I sometimes read my own posts 4 or 5 times. Why? Because I can’t remember what happened. And I re-read them to re-experience my life, because I find some posts quite funny and some quite sad. And after I forget about them, they’re funny and sad all over again. It’s kind of like 50 First Dates with myself. And I also do it for all of the same reasons that Deb and Vikki listed.

And really, I do it because I can’t help it. It makes me feel better. Like Deb said: “I need to do this.”  I’ve spent parts of my life “being a writer.” And parts of my life “not being a writer.” And I think that some of the point of this whole pointless life is to write stuff down and try to make sense of it. Or possibly to make nonsense out it, which I also do. And to laugh at it. And cry at it. But it’s also a special sort of hell. A bleeding one. Because good writing for me is like biting my nails. It involves my hands. It’s painful. And it’s only really good when you’re bleeding.

A special thank you to these ladies, who made it happen. Here is the dream team, the organizers, the get-er-done group that organized and executed on the conference. Thank you to Deb Rox (@debontherox), Polly Pagenhart (@lesbiandad), Susan Goldberg (@mamanongrata), Deborah Goldstein (@psandcs), and Vikki Reich (@uppoppedafox).

salon lgbtq

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 © Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Lesbian moms’ baby is kidnapped. Call 911. Don’t send a card.

While doing some research, The Other Sarah, Director of Orifices and Copy Editing, came across this greeting card. (Seriously people, we needed a Director. Someone has to be in charge of all the assholes in this project and correct there their spelling.)

mom card

 

Are you getting a creepy feeling? Yeah! Me too! Because the caption really should read “Moms! Alert! A big hairy man has stolen your baby!” Although, I’m pretty sure that no one sends a greeting card for that. Too slow. Dialing 911 is way faster.

But maybe I’m being too alarmist. There are some other perfectly reasonable explanations for the photo on this card:

1. The son is actually the guy with the hairy arm, and he is too shy to be in the picture AND he just happens to be holding a newborn baby dressed in a blue outfit.

2. It’s the doctor’s arm. And therefore I have a follow-up question: How did they get that baby cleaned up and dressed so fast? And can you come over to my house and help out?

3. The moms are not out of the closet, so even their arm can’t identify as gay. Or maybe their arm is transgendered.

4. Neither of the moms was strong enough to hold up the baby.

5. Some women have arms this hairy. Touche.

6. The artist added the arm to be sure that we all felt the masculinity of the new baby, because boys are often emasculated in our society by the silly pajamas and the baby hats with the pink accents that are issued at every hospital in America. So the artist has added the hairy arm to make a political point in defense of men’s rights. Well played!

9. This is Tina Fey’s baby, and someone leaked this picture from the cover of her sequel to Bossypants called Babypants.

If none of those 9 reasons resonate with you, and you really do just want to congratulate two new moms on the birth of their son, might I suggest 7LM’s more simple, less hirsute options?  We make them for dads, too – – let us know if you find any of them unintentionally creepy.

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© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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