I have never claimed to be helpful, but this is:

I have some really good news. If you found this blog by accident, and you were hoping to get some real medical, legal or financial advice about creating an LGBTQ family, you are out of luck. I am way too lazy to try to figure all that stuff out for you.

But we’re both so in luck! These lovely people – The Experts – that are part of the Family Equality Council have started a Q & A for all of us. And it’s REALLY good. I love experts.

Now you can Ask the Experts if you have questions about creating, financing and legalizing your unconventional family. Seriously, check it out. These people seem really friendly and smart.

experts

And if you just want to hear about the ridiculous things that happen after you become a gay family, you can stick around here. Or….

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Do your parents mind if you are [fill in a word that means less than adequate here]?

I have a serious question (for a change). I hope you can help.

Every once in a while, someone asks me this question. “Do you parents mind that you are gay?” Sometimes it comes out like this: “Do you parents support your relationship?”

I never know what to say. First, because I don’t really have an answer. Yes, no, kind of. What does that look like, exactly? Parents supporting one’s relationship. I’m sure there are tons of straight people whose parents hate/dislike/are irritated by their child’s husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/lover. Do they get asked this question? Maybe I should start asking people this question at cocktail parties, if the person indicates that they are married or coupled in some way.

But I also kind of get it. Maybe. Sometimes it seems like the asker is trying to show empathy about my current position in society. But it also seems like they are also reinforcing a homophobic stereotype — that every gay person’s parents are disappointed that they are gay. What about the gay parents? Are they disappointed when their kids turn out straight?

The person who asked me this last night and who shall remain anonymous to protect the innocent, had a legitimate reason for asking such a personal question. But once I was asked this question at a kegger. The guilty party was a former colleague who asks me if my parents “minded” if I was gay. Again, I didn’t know how to answer, but it did occur to me later to ask her if her parents minded that she was short and had red hair.

Do you have a good answer to this question?

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