I’m happy to support your gay agenda, once I find it

Last night “Let it Go,” the song from the Disney movie Frozen won an Oscar.
And it reminded me that I needed to order a copy of that movie for Marlo’s 3rd birthday, because that’s how capitalism works. And because I’m a lazy parent. I will happily buy any new movie for my kids to watch, if it lets me off the hook for 93 minutes (including bonus material).
frozen
I also just learned that this movie has a “gay agenda.” I know! Kind of shocking. But this woman, Kathryn Skaggs or Well-Behaved-Mormon-Woman (WBMW) as she prefers to be called, proved it. You can read about it, here. But use the potty first. It’s a long post.
But now I am torn. Not because I don’t want my kids to see a movie with a gay agenda, but because I didn’t notice that the movie was gay the first time I saw it. I guess I was distracted by the hot chicks and the funny snowman.
More disappointing is the fact that Well-Behaved didn’t actually go into detail about how this movie is gay. I would like to know, because I thought the movie was pretty good with it’s caring theme about sisters and female independence, but I would have liked it EVEN MORE if I knew it was gay.
I loved Mulan, in part because it was pretty gay. All the main characters are cross-dressers. And they save the whole country from evil because they dress up and act like the opposite gender. There is even a song sung by a girl about finding a great girl to marry. What’s not to love?!
So here is my plea: please help me find the gay agenda in Frozen. Because I’m not a very good gay if I can’t see the gay in a Disney movie. Besides, I’m a big supporter of the gay agenda.
A slightly more professional version of this story also ran in the HuffPost.
Find me on Twitter @7littlemexicans
Follow this and more on Facebook: www.facebook.com/sevenlittlemexicans 
Or become a fan on HuffingtonPost Parents

© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Gay marriage passed in Illinois, but not without some confusion about driving cars

Illinois has passed a gay marriage law. (Yeah!) Maybe Pam and I will get married there. And Hawaii is now also an option. But I don’t want to get side-tracked. The law in Illinois was not passed without some important dialogue from both sides — the right side and the wrong side. And I’d like like to comment on something from the wrong side, before we move on.

This man – Apostle Paul David Rogers – told a radio station that “gay parents are like 5-year-olds who think they can drive cars.” I agree. And I don’t want that to get lost in all the other stuff that he was saying about God ordaining lions and chickens. Because, well, that would be crazy. Those are animals, and animals should not be leading churches or teaching the Bible, mostly because they can’t talk, but also because they probably won’t fit in those fancy robes properly.

So anyway, as a gay parent I would just like to say that I AM like a 5-year-old who thinks they can drive a car. I’m probably not as excited about driving my car as a five-year-old would be, but I’m probably just as bad at it. In fact, the other day I was just giving myself a pat on the back because I haven’t run into our newly painted garage with my car, and it’s been a whole three weeks since it was painted. And more evidence? Last weekend, I thought I could drive to the dog wash to wash the dog, and I got completely lost. I had to call Pam for help.

That said, I have no idea what this has to do with gay marriage, except that both driving and marriage require licenses. And gay people, including gay parents, can now get a license to be married in Illinois. But while you are there, please take the subway if you have kids. Because driving in Illinois or anywhere is a fantasy, for you, my friends. And also for me.

This probably what 5-year-old driving would look like. Which is scary, but not as scary as a lion in papal regalia.

This probably what a 5-year-old driving would look like. Which is scary, but not as scary as a lion in papal regalia.

Follow this and more on Facebook: www.facebook.com/sevenlittlemexicans 
Or find us on Twitter @7littlemexicans and #7LM
Follow my blog with Bloglovin

© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Lesbians in Costco. A fantasy. (Not that kind)

“We are together,” I mouth to the woman standing at the door wearing a down vest and glasses. I gesture wildly toward Pam and our two girls who are sitting with their dolls in the shopping cart. And I hold up my black Executive membership card in plain sight.

Suddenly the Costco police — dressed in black t-shirts and sneakers and carrying box cutters — descend upon us and ask us to prove that we live in the same household. We are forced to show both of our names on our joint checking account. It’s not enough. We are taken to separate rooms and interrogated. I say that Pam hates the bran bread in the bakery, but loves the whole wheat. She doesn’t mention this. Instead, she says that we need cheddar cheese. But I say that we don’t, because we already have some in the freezer. Instead, I say that we need a plastic bag the size of a pillow case full of spinach. She says that we’re not getting spinach, because we’ll never eat it all before it goes bad.

Then, still doubting the credibility of stories and unconvinced that we are basically married, the police reunite us and force us to kiss to prove that we are not sisters just looking to get a discount at a big box store. Disgusted by this flagrant public indecency in front of our children, we are arrested by the real police. Our children, who are still sitting like angels in the shopping cart, are nabbed by a social worker and taken to a van parked outside. “Mima! Mima! Mommy!” they cry as they are carried off to the foster care system. My heart breaks.

“Sarah, are you coming?” says Pam. “The woman is waving us through and the people behind us are waiting.”

“Yeah, sorry I uh……. nevermind.”

That’s right. Nothing happened. We’re a family, and Costco has no problem with us. They treat us just like every other family. How was your weekend?

grocery list

Follow this and more on Facebook: www.facebook.com/sevenlittlemexicans 
Or find us on Twitter @7littlemexicans and #7LM
Follow my blog with Bloglovin

© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Kremlin says this flag is not gay. What did the flag tell you?

People, remember this name: Miriam Elder. I hope she is duly recognized with a Pulitzer Prize for hard-hitting reporting from Russia like this news about whether or not a Russian flag is gay. Experts, flag experts no less, made this declaration: This flag of Russia’s Jewish Autonomous Region is not gay.

And now, why the confusion? Well, here is a picture of the flag:

gaylookingflag

I know. It’s like saying this lady is not a lesbian:

kd lang

Anyway, let’s chat about this. Because this is not an actual news site, and I’m not an actual reporter, I can say all the things — ask all the hard-hitting questions — that Miriam could not ask. And here is what I want to know.

Did anyone ask the flag if it was gay? No. That figures. Some things never change. We can spend all of our time speculating about whether something is gay or not and no one ever bothers to ask the thing. Oh wait. It’s a thing! So I guess that is the first lesson. Most objects don’t have a sexual orientation, even though lots of them seem to have a gender, like boats and hurricanes, for example.

But the best part of the article are the quotes from the flag experts. First Georgy Vilinbakhov, a Kremlin advisor, notes that “not every rainbow image is linked to sexual orientation.” This is truly disappointing news. All those years I thought Lucky Charms was just for gay people. And then there was this coming out shirt that I had in first grade. No wonder no girls ever asked me to go steady. This was just a regular shirt.

cool_retro_graphic_rainbow_design_tAnd in case you’re wondering why everyone is getting all worked up about rainbows in Russia, “gay propaganda” and other “public displays of homosexuality” have been outlawed in the country. The UN High Commission on Human Rights is involved, so we are talking about some serious shit here. Which means that it has no place on this blog.

Instead, let’s all give thanks (again) for free speech and proudly wear any rainbow-accented clothing, flags, socks or cereal that you have no matter what it means. I am.

Follow this and a lot more on Facebook: www.facebook.com/sevenlittlemexicans 
Or find us on Twitter @7littlemexicans and #7LM
Follow my blog with Bloglovin

© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

I am the South Pole and other scientific facts.

I think I just found the best thing on the internet. A university student in Nigeria has found irrefutable, scientific proof that gay marriage is wrong. How did he do it? Magnets. Yes, I know. For years, we have been overlooking this understated household object which could have been acting as our moral compass (because it’s a magnet) for this entire time. Possibly forever, because I think that’s how long magnetic fields last.

 

 

 

Here is a direct quote from his research, from Pink News: “A bar magnet is a horizontal magnet that has the North Pole and the South Pole and when you bring two bar magnets with a North Pole together you find that the two North Poles will not attract. They will repel, that is, they will push away themselves showing that a man should not attract a man.”

And then, he goes on to say that women are like the south pole of the magnet and two south poles repel each other, as well.

So, I have given this some thought. And in addition to being very relieved to finally find my place on the periodic table of elements, I want to personally thank this guy for pointing out other things that I was not aware of about myself. In other words, other ways that I am like a magnet.

1. I cannot stay away from the fridge. It is like a huge force field in my life that is impossible to resist.

2. This explains the whole wanting to go to college in Canada thing. It’s north, which I was attracted to because I am the south pole of the magnet.

3. And probably the most important discovery: This completely explains why I’m not a chick magnet, which is somewhat devastating. But at least now I know why girls aren’t falling all over me. And sometimes dudes hit on me, instead. It’s because they can’t help it. Opposite forces attract.

And I would like to fix this whole chick magnet thing by working on my hair, but I can’t decide on a style. But I think this will help. And it involves magnets, which I now feel very passionate about. You can get your own, right here, but only if you live in the UK, which is where all the cool chicks are anyway.

wor003_design_a_beaver_1

But if you’re not ready to be a chick magnet or you are perfectly happy with your pubes, you can buy one of these magnets, instead. It’s practically guaranteed to turn you into a chick magnet, at least for little chicks that take constant naps and need endless diaper changes.

twowoman_twobabies

Follow this and a lot more on Facebook: www.facebook.com/sevenlittlemexicans 
Or find us on Twitter @7littlemexicans and #7LM
Follow my blog with Bloglovin

 © Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

My children, I mean my specimens, have been studied and the results are in.

We have been studied. It was big. The study. And the results are in. And now we’re being debated. Before we go any further, let me provide you with a couple of details. A set of researchers got together and studied 500 families, some which were same-sex couples with children and some were straight families with children. And guess what? The gay families had more coping strategies and better family cohesion.

And here is the first thing I feel compelled to say about this. Knock this shit off! If someone launched a huge study to compare black families to white families to see who raised healthier kids there would be huge public outrage, because at its core this question would be racist. And at its core, the above question about the health of children raised by same-sex couples is homophobic. I’m glad it’s good news, but can we really compare?

It shouldn’t be surprising that people generally maligned by society would have better strategies for dealing with conflict, because we deal with more conflict, more bullying and more rejection. If you’re left out by society, it would make sense that your family would pull together more. So, thank you. I think we’re good now. Please do not “debate” this topic.

Instead, let’s talk about whether dogs are better than cats. (Dogs!) And whether boys are better than girls. (Girls!) But seriously,stop it. Let’s just love people for who they are and quite comparing because I’m not sure it’s helping us.

Follow this and a lot more on Facebook: www.facebook.com/sevenlittlemexicans
Or find us on Twitter #7LM

testtube1

People like us just a little bit more worldwide, so stop being so negative Pew-ers

I have good news. People around the world mostly like us just a tiny bit more. The Pew Foundation released a study at the beginning of the month called The Global Divide on Homosexuality. And the Pew Foundation also said that view on homosexuality are mostly unchanged. You can see it right there. See?

homosexual views

Now, I realize that overall we’re shooting for the stars here. We don’t just want acceptance, we want 100% integration and all that good stuff. We want to be just like everyone else, which is to say first we want to get married then to be able to produce 2.5 kids with a picket fence. That last part always sounded painful to me, but then, I didn’t exactly have kids the traditional way. But if there was a similar survey that said “How much do you like white people?” Would we have 100% acceptance? Totally, doubt it. So what I’m really wondering is how does this compare to acceptance, in general. But I digress.

And more importantly what I’m trying to point out here is that there is a bit of good news! People are moving in a positive direction. I would suggest that it’s a win if anyone finds anyone else more “acceptable.” And look at the top of the list. Those are some places I care about.

First, leading the pack is PSY in South Korea. Thank you for being ridiculous and making gay people look totally normal. Now gay South Koreans can enjoy 21% more acceptance. Next in line is Canada and the U.S. — two of my favorite countries. Thank you friends and family for spreading the good word. Next on the list is Italy and Spain, which makes total sense because those people are hot and who wouldn’t want to have sex with any of them. And that rounds out the top 5, but I have mention Germany because my brother lives there and German women for decades have been toeing the line for lesbians with their short hair and their Birkenstocks. Thank you, my sisters.

Follow this and a lot more on Facebook: www.facebook.com/sevenlittlemexicans
Or find us on Twitter #7LM

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...