I’ve hired a scientist to watch over the babies

A few weeks ago, I found out that Lego was coming out with “female scientist” mini-figures. I’m not a huge fan of Lego, but I am a huge fan of female scientists. So, I ordered one. Because there is only one.

Don’t get me wrong, there are other females. There is Mermaid, Hollywood Starlet, Fortune Teller and Pretzel Girl. Wait! All is not lost, there is also Librarian, Zookeeper and Swimming Champion — all of whom are female.

When Scientist arrived, I needed a place to put her and next to these seemed like as good a place as any.

babies

I bought all these babies when I was trying to create the original banner for this blog, because when you’re going through fertility treatments you’re either going to have no babies or a whole pile of babies. Your choices basically look like this:

toomanybabies

And I know some people will be all “Jesus doesn’t make too many babies.” But Jesus doesn’t make these babies, scientists do. And scientists will be all “this is statistics, so we need to increase your odds of success by filling your body up with pre-babies, called zygotes.” It’s complicated, but that is the basic idea.

So I put my Scientist here with the babies.

chemist

According to Lego, “Thanks to the Scientist’s tireless research, Minifigures that have misplaced their legs can now attach new pieces to let them swim like fish, slither like snakes or stomp around like robots.” So, even though she looks like a chemist, she’s actually Dr. Frankenstein.

Then, I tried to order more female scientist mini-figures because one is never enough. And there weren’t any, so I ordered an androgynous-looking surgeon.  I put her next to the chemist.

surgeon

Then, I realized that I’ve turned into Richard Dreyfus from Close Encounters of the Third Kind. But instead of building shrines to aliens with mashed potatoes, I’m re-creating scenes from my IVF treatment using Legos.

Now we just need to name all these babies.

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When picking a profession, don’t let reality interfere

My daughter wants to be a fairy when she grows up. I found this out a few weeks ago, when she was the star-of-the-week at her school and I asked her a short set of interview questions that, frankly, I wouldn’t really have thought to ask before such as: What is your favorite food? Spaghetti. And what is your favorite color? Green (good girl!).

She dressed up as a fairy for Halloween, so I should have known that she had already set her career aspirations on the magical arts. Having a background in science, and sometimes being logical, my first thought was “but fairies aren’t real.” Then I realized, that doesn’t matter, because life is all a grand illusion. Have you learned nothing from studying Buddhism?

So, I have been contemplating what it would mean to become a fairy. There are the obvious benefits. First, flying. I can definitely see the appeal. If someone is annoying you or you need to get somewhere in a hurry. Bzzzzzzzz. You’re off. And you basically have a built-in blanket. At least it seems that fairy wings are warm given how the little creatures wrap themselves up when they go to sleep on a leaf or a flower petal. And it’s a good thing too, because they are always dressed in a bathing suit with ankle boots.

But what, exactly is a fairy’s job? They seem very busy sprinkling dust that makes flowers grow and forest creatures wake up and sneeze. Productive fairies appear to be in charge of all botanic life. That is a huge job considering it’s the food and oxygen source for every living creature on the planet. Are there ocean fairies? Sprites? Without fairies, the grass and trees wouldn’t grow, seasons wouldn’t change, and there wouldn’t be someone buzzing around your head giving you thoughtful advice in a tiny, high voice. So fairies are, essentially, environmentalists.

So, I can see how she came to this conclusion of wanting to be a fairy. She does want to be just like her moms. My spouse is a botanist. And I am always busy trying to control everything on earth and buzzing around peoples’ heads. I don’t often wear a bathing suit, but I have been seen in ankle boots on occasion. So now all we need to get is a good set of wings.

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