Look for me, I’ll be dressed as a lesbian.

It’s Halloween. You probably noticed. And in case you’re wondering, I will be dressed up as a lesbian. And I’ll be hanging out with a cross-dressing Mickey Mouse and a Rock Star Ariel – because a regular, old princess mermaid just doesn’t cut it these days. My lovely spouse will be joining us, and I believe she will also be dressed as a lesbian. A warmly dressed one, undoubtedly.

I think we’ll make a great crew. And if it works out, maybe we’ll start a girl band. Feel free to suggest some band names in the comments.

And this brings me to my next point. How do you dress as a lesbian for Halloween? Let me tell you, because I learned this in high school French class from a very pretty, popular girl who was sitting behind me. Let’s call her T.

Me: What are you going to dress up as for Halloween?

T: A lesbian.

Me: Oh, how are you going to do that?

T: I’m going to wear a tight black leotard and cover myself with lipstick kisses.

Me: Wow. Hmmm.

Here is a life-size reproduction of what this probably looked like:

mani-tard

And it’s a bit awkward, because the only thing more uncomfortable than wearing a leotard in public is wearing a leotard in public while propagating your own made-up stereotype about lesbians. That and she is practically an adult going Trick-or-Treating with an jack-o-lantern candy bucket.

But, THIS CHICK IS GORGEOUS! And covered in kisses. So now you know why I turned gay.

Happy Halloween!

Follow this and a lot more on Facebook: www.facebook.com/sevenlittlemexicans 
Or find us on Twitter @7littlemexicans and #7LM
Follow my blog with Bloglovin

© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Gay expertise not included

When people find out that you’re gay, they sometimes have questions. Heck! When I found out I was gay, I had questions. What kinds of questions, you ask? Good question! (I’m trying to set a record for the most use of the word “question” in a single post.)

Any question that starts with the following: Why do gay people [blank]?

Example: Why do gay people cut their hair so short?

Uh, they do? Now I have a question, too. Do gay people cut their hair short?

I usually start to panic when something like this happens, because I am supposed to be a gay expert after all, because I am gay. And I want to be sure that I’m toeing the line. Doing my part to be gay enough to do good for all gay people and gayness in the world. And if there is something I don’t know about being gay, well then, maybe I’m not gay.

But I’m also tall. And people seem to have fewer questions about that, but again, I have few answers. And I feel like I’m am doing my part for tall people everywhere by just walking around being tall. I don’t belong to any tall groups. I don’t celebrate being tall on days set aside to celebrate tallness. I don’t play basketball. I can reach stuff on high shelves, so that’s pretty great. But I also don’t fit in some cars. But I don’t protest, because I wouldn’t want to be seen as against shortness. I am fairly certain that I’m taller than the average woman, but I don’t know exactly by how much. But I’m OK with that, because people don’t ask that question much, because, well, no one cares if you are tall or short. Its just the way it is. Unremarkable. Thank goodness.

Follow this and a lot more on Facebook: www.facebook.com/sevenlittlemexicans
Or find us on Twitter #7LM and @7littlemexicans

us

 

© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...