I’m not going to the wedding. And no, it’s not because I’m gay.

A friend that I adore is getting married in two weeks. (Holy shit, it’s in two weeks!) But I’m not going to the wedding. I went to the bacherolette party, as you might recall. Except that you might not, because I think the whole post may have been overshadowed by my coming out as a strap-on dildo owner.

But after the party, I was torturing myself about whether or not to go to the wedding, because it’s hard for me to leave the house. Literally. I have children. And my parenting is only 50% good, so it takes two of us to make this thing work. And when one of us goes away, like we’ve each been doing a lot this summer, then the whole thing works half as well. And the strap-on dildos start complaining about EVERYTHING, because they are lonely. And the kids don’t like it much either. And the dog does not get walked.

So, I wanted to write this post to publicly explain myself, because I’m gay, and I’m defensive. And I just want to be sure that everyone knows that I’m not going to this wedding because I’m LAZY, and NOT because I’m resentful that I can’t get fully, legally married. Or that straight people make me uncomfortable. Some of my best friends are straight. For real.


But I don’t call them straight to their face: “This is Lisa,* my straight friend.” Because that would be awkward for her. But I do like to ask them if they know other straight people that I know. And if they are single, I always try to introduce them to my other straight friends, so they can hook up. Because I don’t want them to be lonely, like my dildos.

So this is just all to say that I won’t be at THE wedding. But I hope you’ll still come to my wedding next September, friend (the straight one). But if you don’t come, I’ll understand, because some of my best friends are straight, after all.

*Names have been changed to protect anonymity

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© Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans, 2014. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Sarah Ann Gilbert and Seven Little Mexicans with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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